He left for someone else eight months ago.
He still texts.
"I miss you."
"Just checking on you."
Never "let's talk about us."
Never "I'm leaving her."
You keep waiting for the sentence that explains everything.
It never comes.
Here is how to read what is actually happening, and what to do next.
Separate What He Says From What He Does
"I miss you" is a feeling.
It is not a decision.
Missing someone costs him nothing.
Leaving his girlfriend for you would cost him something.
That is the difference you keep skipping past.
He hasn't ended things with her.
He hasn't asked to meet in daylight, with plans, in front of people who know you both.
He hasn't said "I want you back."
He has said the easy part and left out the hard part.
Nostalgia and guilt can produce a text.
They cannot produce a relationship.
If he wanted one, the actions would already be moving that way.
Words without matching actions are not mixed signals.
They are just words.
Ask Why Now, Not Just Why
You keep asking why he still reaches out.
Ask why he reaches out when he does.
Late at night usually means loneliness, not love.
A text after a fight with her usually means comparison, not longing.
Notice the pattern instead of the wording.
His timing is tied to something happening in his current relationship.
It is not tied to something happening in his feelings for you.
That is what breadcrumbing actually is.
Small pieces of attention, spaced out, with nothing solid behind them.
It is not always calculated.
Sometimes it is habit, or comfort, or not wanting to fully lose the option.
Either way, it is not about you being irreplaceable.
It is about him not wanting to close a door he is not using.
Those are two different things.
Stop Treating "I Don't Know" As An Answer
You already asked him directly what he wants.
He said, "I don't know, I wasn't thinking."
That felt like nothing.
It was actually something.
A person who wants you back has a plan, even a rough one.
A person who wants comfort without consequences says "I don't know."
"I don't know" means he does not want to decide.
Deciding would mean losing something, either you or her.
Staying vague lets him keep both options open a little longer.
That is not confusion.
That is avoidance with better manners.
Waiting for him to eventually mean something different keeps you stuck rereading old texts.
The vague answer already told you what you needed to know.
You just did not want to hear it that way.
Set The Boundary Before You Need His Permission To
Here is the fear underneath all of this.
If you stop answering, you might miss the one chance to get back together.
But a boundary is not a door slam.
It is a filter for finding out if he is serious.
Tell him plainly: don't contact me unless you're actually single and mean it.
If he respects that, you learn something real.
If he keeps texting anyway, you learn something real too.
Either answer is more useful than another late-night "hey."
This also protects you if his girlfriend ever gets involved.
You did not create this triangle.
You do not owe her an explanation.
You do not owe him access just because he is used to having it.
A boundary does not guarantee he will come back.
It guarantees you stop being available by default.
What It Looks Like When He Actually Chooses You
Real interest looks boring compared to a late-night text.
It looks like him ending the other relationship first, on his own, before contacting you.
It looks like a daytime conversation with an actual plan attached.
It looks like consistency over weeks, not one message every few weeks.
It looks like him naming what he wants, out loud, without you asking twice.
Anything less than that is attention, not intention.
You can wish him well and still stop waiting for a text to prove you mattered.
His actions just have not caught up to your patience yet.