You held it together all shift.
You didn't text back right away.
You kept things quiet and professional.
Then you heard it secondhand.
He told a coworker you've been cold, like you're the immature one.
That stings in a specific way.
You weren't hiding your feelings to hurt him.
You were hiding them just to get through the day.
Figure out what actually happened before you react
Hot and cold behavior has a pattern, even when it feels random.
One day he's warm, using old nicknames, touching your arm.
The next day he blanks you over text and in person.
That inconsistency isn't a message about your worth.
It's usually him managing his own discomfort, badly, in real time.
Some days he wants connection, so he's warm.
Other days he wants distance, so he goes cold.
You're not required to decode which mood he's in.
You just need to notice you're not imagining the whiplash.
If he's calling you distant while running hot and cold himself, that's not an accurate read.
It's a story that makes his inconsistency your fault instead of his.
Stop treating his hot-and-cold behavior as feedback on you
You keep waiting for his behavior to mean something stable.
It won't, because it isn't stable.
Trying to stay "friendly enough" so he doesn't call you cold will not work.
He can call you cold no matter what you do.
That's true for the pragmatist who keeps things strictly business too.
Being businesslike isn't what's being judged here.
Being unavailable to him emotionally is what's being punished.
Once you see that, the goal changes.
You stop performing warmth to manage his opinion of you.
You start managing your own day instead.
That shift is small, but it's the one that actually protects you.
Say less to him, and mean it, in front of everyone
You can't do strict no contact when you share tasks all shift.
That rule was written for people who can leave the room.
You can't leave the room, so build a different rule.
Keep your interactions short, factual, and about the work only.
Not cold, not warm, just narrow.
"Here's the schedule" and "can you cover this" are enough.
You don't owe him softness, and you don't need to punish him either.
If a coworker repeats what he said, don't correct the record loudly.
Say one calm thing, once, and let it stand.
"We're not together anymore, and I'm keeping things professional."
Repeating yourself past that just feeds the story further.
Build one honest ally instead of a whole audience
Right now the break room has a version of you that isn't accurate.
You can't control who repeats it, but you can control who actually knows you.
Pick one coworker you trust and tell them the plain version.
Not the whole history, just enough that someone has the real picture.
That person becomes your check when a rumor circulates.
It also stops you from feeling like you're facing this completely alone.
The office crier who holds it together at work needs one place to be honest.
Let that be a person, not just your car afterward.
Get through the shift without your body making the decision for you
You already tried switching to messages instead of talking.
It barely worked, because the job needs face-to-face contact anyway.
That doesn't mean nothing helps, it means that specific fix was incomplete.
Before a shift with him, decide one thing you'll do right after.
A short walk, a call to a friend, five minutes alone before driving.
Give your body somewhere to put the reaction instead of holding it for hours.
You don't have to fix your feelings about him this week.
You just need one shift where seeing him doesn't decide your whole day.
That's what success looks like here.
Not silence, not distance you can't maintain, just a shorter leash on how much power one glance gets.